Is it too early for reflection on 2011?
No...in fact i think there are many things to reflect on...i wonder if i have enough time to spend on thinking, evaluating and reflecting...
As i read the blog entry in January, i'm glad to say at least, i manage to do and achieve what i wanted to set off to do in Jan 2011 - passing driving (Woohoo!), serving in PFS (yup though it's not easy but yet it brings some kind of a unspeakable joy) and spending more time with my school kids (though not all the time but as much as i could).
So many things that i want to reflect on that i can't even name them unless i type it down here...
1. What have i learnt in 2011 and what has God taught me in 2011?
One of the major lessons that i think God would have me learn and restore in my life is my relationship with my Dad - my earthly father.
Since the divine appointment to heal my past childhood hurts with my mum, i know that God would have more healing work to work out in my life in my relationship with my dad. Through the angry outburst incident, it helped me to see and acknowledge my inner hurts, my depise and my bitter root judgements. And more so, i want to forgive my dad for all of them...and to ask for forgiveness from God for all these sins and burdens that held me down consiously and unconsciously. And i'm still learning this lesson whenever i'm led to judge...and i know this is a journey lesson.
At the same time, i learnt to set healthy boundaries and again, this is a lifelong lesson that i need to remind myself to do...for friends, for work, for family and for myself.
Another lesson was in perseverance with serving in PFS. The first 3 months was not exactly torturous but it was quite unbearable because i had no control. It's interesting how terrible i felt when there's no control...it reflects my craving and need for control - something which i need to work on...releasing control. And learning that God's in control even when i'm not. And learning to trust God that He is in control even when all before my eyes seemed to get out of control. It's amazing how Jacob and Mary deal wtih all these loss of control yet trust God so trustedly.
Preparedness - God prepares His people (thru the book, "Initimacy" by Henri Nouwen).He does it in every juncture. God does not call one at whim and fancy without preparation. He foresees, plans and prepares ahead before He brings each person, thing and event into existence. This taught me about God's nature. And it is in this way that He will prepare for me the path, the persons i will meet and the work and things that He wants me to do.
3. What are the things i need to improve and work on?
It struck me today that something which i wanted to do for this year but i have not done so till today - that is setting aside solitude time to spend with God.
It is something that i know i want to do for next year - to systematically carve out and set aside time once every month (1st Saturday afternoon) in solititude with God.
That's the goal for 2012!
4. What are the plans God has for me this year and next year?
5. What are my hopes and what do i want to achieve for 2012?
a. To have solititude with God on every 1st Sat afternoon of each month.
6. Who are the people whom God wants me to spend time with in 2012?
7. How have i grown spiritually in 2011?
8. How do i go about continuing my spiritual growth in 2012?
Time to think......
