2011...

Verdict is out.

She will not support 2010.

We striked an agreement.

I'll stay for 2010.

She'll let me go in 2011.

Perhaps it's good timing too. I trust that God is in control of this timing. I have peace with the decision and the agreement. I don't have to leave in a rush and feel guilty about it. And I get to have the support to go even though it's later. Still a win-win situation.

By 2011, the mission focus in ETC will materialise too... :)

Peace despite what i see...

The replies from the enquiries from personnel div. has not been favourable...but somehow there was peace in my heart. I don't know why...though my emotions was abit thrown off after the call...but as i look to God, there was peace somehow...and i thank God for it. Perhaps i need to learn to trust beyond what i see and maybe this is a testimony of faith along this journey...

Will be going for ETC intro briefing tomo...i wonder what will it bring?...

The lesson in applying leave...

Called up the personnel division and inquired...i confessed, i have not been honest...i withheld the part that it's seminary studies...and i'm convicted. Indeed, God did not let my conscience rest...therefore i confessed and repented. I must do this with integrity. That's the number one thing. If i don't, what the point of getting the leave and studying? If i dont speak the truth and glorify God in this, then all the rest that follow wont start right either. I don't want to go that way.

Then i realised why i have withheld the 'truth' - i have not fully trusted God to open the way. I'm still dependent on man's ways - on my own way to 'attain' the approval. I realised that i need to trust God even though man's ways does not seem viable. And in my heart, i asked God to show me how and to make a way even i can see no way. And PRAISE THE LORD!!! He immediately responded to me through Bro. Brian's call. There's another way! Indeed God opens doors we cannot see...and this is a testimony of His marvelous goodness and faithfulness! I call..He hears me...HE HEARS ME...He hears me...He affirms..and strengths my faith in Him.

Lord, break into my life...

Lord i'm here to seek Your face
Father, show me the way
Deep inside, i long to see
the breakthrough You have for me

Draw me near to know You more
Let my heart be an open door
Fill me with Your Spirit, Lord
Release the power of Your Word

Lord, break into my life
I want to break with all that binds me
Lord, break into my life
Help me believe, in faith i receive
Your breakthrough for me

Lord You said to one who's down
Without another to pick him up
Every man needs a helping hand
To run the race that's set before us.

Lord, break into my life
I want to break with all that binds me
Lord, break into my life
Help me believe, in faith i receive
Your breakthrough for me

Lord, break in
Lord, break me
Lord, break in
Lord, breakthrough
Lord, come and break into my life
Lord, breakthrough
Lord, break into my life
I want to break with all that binds me
Lord, break into my life
Help me believe, in faith i receive
Your breakthrough for me

Through this song, i want to remember to break with my weaknesses that binds me...the inadequacy and misplaced focus on man...and claim in faith, God's breakthrough for me!

Defining my boundaries and claiming my portion and my lot

Yesterday's Sunday message talks about boundaries...God sets boundaries for Israel for safety and protection...it made me think about my boundaries...and i pray that God can extend boundaries...that His boundaries for me will fall in beautiful places...is dhe a boundary i'm not supposed to cross?
Yet God's boundaries, i know, is meant to protect me...and i should not try to cross it for my own good...

A precious lesson i learnt in yesterday's devotion and needed for today.

And they came to Jericho. And(CB) as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus,(CC) a blind beggar, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the roadside. 47And when he heard that it was(CD) Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" 48And many(CE) rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!" 49And Jesus stopped and said, "Call him." And they called the blind man, saying to him,(CF) "Take heart. Get up; he is calling you." 50And throwing off his(CG) cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. 51And Jesus said to him, (CH) "What do you want me to do for you?" And the blind man said to him,(CI) "Rabbi, let me recover my sight." 52And Jesus said to him, "Go your way;(CJ) your faith has(CK) made you well." And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.

It struck me that Bartimaeus did not have to think how Jesus will heal him...He called on Jesus, told Him what he wants, believe that Jesus can do it...as simple as that...Bartimaeus did not have to worry how and in what manner Jesus can heal him...

It made me think about my situation...how i thought it to be a difficult obstacle to get my no-pay study leave approved by P...looking at the terms and details of the leave application...it seemed that it cannot really work out...the 'how?' question has been hovering in my mind...how can it work out?

I think it's perhaps a lesson for me to trust God beyond the 'hows' of man's means...and trusting simply in God's power and providence. And in turn, making it a testimony for God...and another milestone of faith!

What is my cause for liberation?

Lord, i want to walk in joy & liberation because of ONLY one reason...and that reason is because i know i'm walking IN Your perfect will and plan for me and IN Your perfect timing. No other reasons...period.

Knowing God...by J L Packer

It was indeed a timely read...why do i want to study theology? why do i want to know about God's Word? why do i want to find out more about the history of the Bible? to understand the Bible more? why???

My purpose and goal must be right or else the study of theology is eventually a bad course to take...for knowledge puffs up...indeed it is true...

Initially i thought i wanted to study more is because firstly, i wanted to gain more knowledge about God's Word and probably find the answers to the questions i had...secondly, so that i can teach and explain better...for the sake of those whom i will minister to...but now i realised that this, too is not even a good enough reason...

'The' reason must be that i want to know God more..and after having learnt more, want to walk in His ways to please Him more in my life...

Knowing about God is NOT THE SAME as Knowing God.

Do i want to know God? or do i simply want to know about God?

Knowing more about God does NOT equate loving God more...do i want to know God more because i love Him and as a result, loving God even more?